a childs heart

i remember the good ol' days.
am i too young to say that?
probably.

but i really do enjoy
sitting back and reminiscing about

the good ol' days.

i was young(er).
carefree.
i did not know a thing about life's odd complications.
i ate whatever i wanted.
i had no pressing schedule.
i could spend 3 hours of my day counting grains of sand.
and, sometimes, i did.
and i was silly.
oh gosh, was i silly!

at some point
things changed.
i got more responsibility
more life lessons
and less time to gallivant carelessly.

well.
i decided that, come fall 2011,
i am reclaiming my youth.

that's right.

i want to embark on a hobby
that i am absolutely horrible at.
for the sake of laughing. a lot.
and learning how to recapture
a child's heart.
i have a few ideas peculating..

ping pong - there is no shot in heck i will ever become a good ping pong player. and. i don't want to! i had my first informal ping pong "lesson". basically i flung my limbs (yes, all of them) about with absolutely no grace and hit the ball. most of the time. i laughed. a lot. a ping pong league seems like a good possibility.

modern dance - crazy outfits. leaping across rooms. poses that do not seem like actual poses at all. body contortion. yup. it's high up there on the list.

pole dancing - trying to be sexy while being acutely aware of how ridiculous i look. probably enough said.

playing the banjo - i heart the banjo. and it just so happens i have an oldie - but still a goodie - in my basement. new strings and away i go with my bango. although, to be honest, this task seems more daunting and potentially frustrating. but once i nail those notes - i think they would make for a good tension breaker in life.

soccer - i played soccer in the good ol' days. and i was bad. really bad. but it never mattered. because it was the good ol' days. if i can seek out a team that has no desire to win. i think i will be set.


this is all i have on my list. so far.
feel free to add suggestions.
also feel free to recapture your child's heart. unless you managed to keep it all along. then props to you!

p.s. it is also worth noting that come fall 2011
i will be learning french
from a funny irish man.
i hope to giggle pretty consistently for most of next year.

to the younger, more fragile version of myself

the other day i started to think about
the lessons i have learnt
and the timing of these lessons.

wouldn't life have been a peach if i had learned them all at day one.
if they were genetically embedded.
if i just knew.

alas
it does not work that way
and i still learn something new
about life and it's wonderment
everyday.

some lessons i truly enjoy.
some i try to avoid.
but life will always find you.

ah, the beauty of it all.

if i could go back in time
to my teenage self
a little weathered
a lot ambitious
i would give myself a big hug
and then, with a meaningful exhale,
begin:

don't stress the little things.
i know it is tempting.
you are young. and dramatic.
and in need of attention for no solid reason at all.

but.

it is really not worth it.
soon you will realize that life is a series of fleeting moments.
they come.
and they go.
do not get stuck in moments.
you will miss the beauty of life if you do.

don't worry.
you will do it one day.
you will learn to do whatever you want.
you will find a passion.
you will grow.
thrive.
and succeed.

don't be afraid to say no.
saying no means that you are actually saying yes
to yourself.

acknowledge change.
know that every organism on this earth is constantly changing.
change is good.

smile at strangers.
it really freaks them out.

recognize your beauty.
flaws are endearing.

veeto on the sunless tanner.

double veeto on ash blonde hair dye.

own your brains on the first day you breeze through that school.

find the ones who love you unconditionally
and love them back.
always.

do not regret anything.
everything you have done and will do
good or bad
has important meaning
and holds an important lesson.

remember to breathe.

with love from,

the twenty-something version of yourself

stone cold fox

i need these shorts. now.

also currently in love with:

clove-spiced soft serve ice cream
armistice*
bust magazine

*

hook line and sinker

Source: onefabulousday.wordpress.com via Katie on Pinterest

Source: appleday.tumblr.com via Lena on Pinterest

Source: crazywithitcrazierwithout.tumblr.com via stitchlily on Pinterest

one of these please

Source: flickr.com via Jenny on Pinterest

and all the clothes on it too.

thanks!

tales of a scorned receptionist

dear universe,

i heart my job.
for the most part.

but let's just be honest.

some people are flipping insane.

i have took the pleasure of "grouping" them into certain categories.
it should go, without saying, that to be grouped in these categories.
is not a compliment.

1. the victim.
basically. the world is against them. and no one will ever understand. ever.
the victim usually requires immediate care.
they have fleeting moments of confidence where they decide they must seek help now. when you offer your next available appointment (usually 2 days later), they become angry. they often heavily rely on and overuse the sentence "you just don't understand" to which i reply "i do understand. i don't think you understand. this is not an emergency clinic and i do not have the availability to book people in last minute. my earliest opening is thursday at noon. take it or leave it".**

** i have developed what i like to refer to as the "receptionist b!tch alter ego" but for the most part, i am a super pleasant person.

2. the world revolves around me.
if you book an appointment..it is your responsibility to be at that appointment. such is life. if you need to cancel an appointment..that is really fine by me. however. do not call and ask me to personally call every person that week and see if anyone will switch appointment times with you. that is quite possibly the most ridiculous and selfish request anyone could make. i only give you props for having the gusto to make such a request.

3. the you know what i need.
i do not spend my days studying your file. in fact, that would be illegal. so when you stroll in here off the street and request a supplement refill by using the words "it's what i got last time", i am inclined to stare at you blankly and respond with "i need exact names and potency if need be". apparently this is a problem for the you know what i need individuals. they become angered yet they cannot say much. what could they really say? "you mean i am expected to know what kinds of supplements i am taking?!" maybe they should say that. it would become evident how ridiculous they are being. i imagine they would stop mid-sentence and then trail off into a world of embarrassment.

4. the best friend you never had wanted.
do not under any circumstances call me and tell me in great detail about your entire cycle. i do not care what color your discharge is. i have my own cycle to worry about it.

5. the i have to write a paper and cannot possibly do with a headache.
this will not get you an appointment at 5:30 pm once all the nd's have left. and it certainly will not get you sympathy from me. i write papers all the time. on no sleep. with headaches. and no general interest in what i am writing.

6. the my kid just did something bad and i could care less.
how lovely. your little sweet pea just locked the bathroom door and then closed it. it happens. kids are kids and that is cool by me. however. you are not a kid and, therefore, should not approach the situation like a child. no, we do not have a key. this house and that door knob are ancient. the only reason you are concerned is because he left his empty lunch bag in there. the only reason?! no need to worry about the trail of dancing people at the bathroom door.

7. the i screened your call and didn't listen to the message but called back to see what you needed.
really? really!? listen to your messages!!

and my personal favorite:

8. the i called to make an appointment but do not have my schedule
why are you calling me to make an appointment and then replying with "oh, i don't know my schedule" think about how ridiculous that is. and then call me back when you know your damn schedule.

yours truly,
brittany's alter ego: receptionist b!tch

i could figure my life out in 24 hours

a feat i have been postponing for 3 months
if i hired

this boy:



and this girl:




i think it would be the best investment i have made all year.

welcome to my world..

a world of treasures

and reclaimed trash

a crafted headboard

above it hangs a woven garland

flying dragonflies above my bed

an antique dresser

refinished

painted white

and adorned with off white floral

complete with vintage-inspired crystal knobs

a pile o' brittany

bust magazine

journal

list of goals

and knitting projects

(oddly, part of the list of goals!)

lotta designs

dancing up my wall

vintage chair

repurposed as a bedside table

painting from italy

inherited lamp

ganesh

candles

and a fabulous hat

more to come....

perhaps.

help! i'm alive

i realize i have been absent.
i thought of it everyday.
then the thought left my mind just as quickly...

fleeting moments.

i have had plenty of them this past while.

i set goals in these fleeting moments
important goals.

the most important one:
come up with a life plan
because fall 2011 semester
is the make it or break it time of your career.

i was supposed to make this decision
approximately 5 weeks ago.

fleeting moments.

aside from procrastination
i have been up to the usual...

hoarding library books
and video rentals
(i think i was a thief in my past life
or a very selfish bookworm)

playing in the kitchen
getting my fair share of protein
booking appointments
cancelling appointments
starbucks runs
weeding
seriously contemplating a pug purchase
seeking out pretty pictures
to preoccupy my mind

and a little of the not so usual as well...
hospital visits
bar hopping
and thinking a lot about eating olives (odd, i know)

oh.
and also making *every attempt to save my eggplant.
i will harvest an eggplant.
mark my words.



* we have crafted a nice greenhouse for said eggplant.
now thrive eggplant! thrive!

if i loved you, i would tell you this

by robin black

my first attempt at promoting this novel
went something like this:

"is it about...death...kind of..life..."
to which i received a raised eyebrow and a polite rejection.

fair enough.

here is the second attempt:

black dedicated ten years to the series of short stories
found in if i loved you, i would tell you this.
time well spent.

each story is a beautifully detailed tale
each with a specific purpose
each focusing on one (or more) of life's mysteries:
love
death
loss
birth
joy
and sadness.

to say it is a deep read
would be accurate
but not nearly enough.

it is through black's book that we familiarize ourselves
with the many beautiful, sometimes challenging, facets of life.