unabashedly

it is okay to feel that ache that signals loss.
to glide my finger tips along that canal of pain.
that metaphorical hole in my anatomical heart.

to try and hold it dearly.
and, sometimes, it is okay to suffocate it the way it suffocates you.
but it may surface. at any given time.
this is the cost of being a human who feels emotions, good and bad.

it may be that time you are folding laundry and suddenly you are sobbing
you are holding two different socks and you are sobbing
and the dog is at your feet immediately and only wants to give you a hug
and this act of kindness from flesh that is not your own is too much in this moment
and you only sob harder.

this is okay.
this is acceptable.
give in and flop to the floor.
the dog will be grateful. he can finally give you that hug and lick all the tears that stream down your face.

or somewhere between lips, hips and hands
you panic for a moment.
a slight moment.
and you instinctively tense your body
as you think

my god. i would have his children. i would do it. proudly.

it is nothing short of frightening to love another entity so much
then he says one word
and that one word is the only word that needed to be said.
and your muscles become putty.
and then, well, emotions pick up where language left off.

i guess that is the trick.
we do not get to pick when these emotions surface.
but we do get to pick to what extent.
so feel them.
unabashedly.