doors

i have been thinking about endings.
and beginnings. and everything in between.

vague.

as most things are these days around here.

somewhere between tangible and abstract, i sit.
thoughts emerge and i observe them. but that is it.

i just observe. quite frankly, i am too exhausted to do much more.

among these thoughts...


i love when people find their passion. that thing...whatever it is...that aligns with their soul and they could not be happier. find that thing. find it.

in all storybooks, they end up together. they always do.

who is the protagonist any way?

i wonder what she would say...

i should leave

i should stay

maybe i should be a housewife

maybe my biological clock is ticking

i wonder how one freezes their eggs..

how old am i?

i wonder if it is still socially acceptable to be this lost when i am thirty?

i should leave.


but i don't. i sit on the cusp of something.
hell if i know what it is.

i pull out my yoga mat and i move.
odd connection, no?

i had a teacher that used to say

ease into the pose slowly...like you are opening a door..just peak in..you do not need to walk all the way in...just peak in...then close that door. visit it another day. and you will get farther in.

that is what i do. i open metaphorical doors. doors that enclose my thoughts but i don't dare venture too far.

there is no need to figure out everything all at once. to open the doors too wide. there is no need.

one day at a time will do.