a candle

i got home and a lit a candle.

one sole candle

this action seems minimal and dismissive
but for me, this act was the beginning.

the beginning of acknowledging my loneliness...

i digress.
the source of this loneliness is known to me and only me
and i intend to keep it so.

but this candle.
it was a symbol.
a way for me to acknowledge myself.
acknowledge this space as my own
and to make damn sure that i knew i was worth it.

i only ever used to light candles when i was expecting visitors.
only then would i adorn my room in dimly lit candles.
on this particular eve, i knew i would be alone. all night.
this did not stop me.

and you know what?
i am beginning to quite like my loneliness.
sometimes it can swallow me up whole.
other times, i observe it.
and then i ask myself what it is that i really want to do.
and i do it.
no questions asked.
no one to ask them.

i quite like this thing - my loneliness - after all.