confessions

my yoga mat stares at me with neglectful eyes
it is nicely rolled
cozying up with my yoga blocks
and it is disappointed.

or maybe that is me?

funny thing about i:

i work really well in chaos.
surprisingly well.

and that rule undoubtedly applies to my life.
the more packed my schedule is, the better.
i function better.
work harder
and apply myself 110% because i know there is little time to complete it all.

this is probably unhealthy.

but
so is this.
by this, i mean my summer of relaxation
i work a little.
i run a little.
i neglect my yoga mat.
i shop. more than i should.
and i read less than i had hoped.

why?
because. i have oodles of time.
i feel no pressure to complete any tasks.
because there will always be more time.

as for yoga
i decided to opt out of a gentle yoga
and instead solely work on my ashtanga practice

ashtanga is a raja yoga
which means it is a *masculine-inspired core power yoga
* i hate referring to it as masculine
but the ancient yogi's have deemed it so.

funny thing about ashtanga
is that is that it is truly intense
and it demands excellence
all the freakin' time.

i can do a mean ashtanga practice 2/week
so long as i balance it with a more gentle practice
but just ashtanga

not my best idea.

hence
my mat has been a little neglected
as i struggle and search deep in my little yogic soul
trying to find the gusto for another practice
even though 60% of the poses are hella hard.
and, sometimes, leave me frustrated.

needless to say,
i will be happy when my school schedule starts
my very busy school schedule!

i trust it will kick start my motivation
and instill happiness and success daily.

as for today

my gloomy spirits are tickled by two things:
1. dreaming of a puglet named eleanor
2. watching all the fluttering butterflies in the city.

they are whimsical.