on (never) failing

sometime ago i woke up at 3:30 am
and found myself at the airport a short while later
tired
groggy
and anxious.

two airplanes
one book
and one soy latte later
i arrived at my destiation:

hamilton, on.

as i said before, i was in hamilton for an interview
for a chance to score a seat at the mcmaster midwifery program.

after weeks of baited breath
i have the results.

i am not in
but i am not out.
i am on a waiting list.
spot # 9 on the mcmaster midwifery program wait list belongs to me.

should 9 people forgo their coveted position,
i will be offered a more official spot.

according to some people
i have failed.
i did not make it into the program.

but.
i do not believe in failure.
i believe in learning experiences.

i believe in this quote:

"there are no failures.. just experience​s and your reactions to them" -unknown

oddly enough
one of the many questions i was asked during my series of interviews
was a question of failure.
how do i conceptualize it and what does it ultimately mean to me?

i boldly answered that, in my opinion, failure does not exist.
everytime we "fail", we have learnt something.
if we focus on failing, we completely and totally miss the lesson.
and life, my friends, is all about lessons.

so did i fail?

absolutely not.
i travelled out east by myself (something i thought i could never do).
i threw myself into a very tense and scary situation. just to prove i could do it.
i answered questions to the best of my ability.
and i answered them honestly. there was no filter.
i found a wonderful farmers market.
i made friends with 3 cab drivers.
and i encouraged and supported my competition (not an easy feat).

and now i can sit and relish in the sweet feeling of being number 9.
of giving it my all and learning life's lessons along the way.