the goal

hi, i need this book.

frustrating dialogues

after 5 long distance phone attempts, one stat holiday setback and nine (NINE!) prompts.....

brittany k w: i am wondering my application cannot be processed. i have been told it has something to do with my transcripts.
mcmasters: mhm. yes. it is incomplete.
bkw: okay. as in you did not get my high school or university ones?
mcmasters: i see here that there are thom collegiate ones and university of regina ones.
bkw: okay.....that is all of them...
mcmasters: yes, they are incomplete.
bkw: okay...why?
mcmasters: i don't know. i don't have access to your paper file. i will transfer you to bm.
bkw: ok. thank you.

bm's answer machine
to which i leave a nice lengthy detailed message
asking (pleading, even) to call me.

bm emails.
bm: i received your transcripts from the u of regina on dec 7. but they are incomplete. please resend these transcripts. due to the time constraint, you could have them faxed to me at *** *** ****.

one restless night later
i find myself at the u of regina registrars office

bkw: hi. i have been told my mcmastesr that the transcripts you sent out are incomplete. i am assuming that means they are missing a term?
rl (registrar lady): not possible. but ok.
bkw: ok?
rl: student number, please.
bkw: 2002*****
rl: mhm. not possible.
bkw: ok......well apparently they think it is. could you possibly fax them a new copy of transcripts?
rl: only way that could happen is if you requested them and faxed them yourself.
bkw: but they will accept it if its not from an institution
rl: correct.
bkw: ok.......great.

i email bm and explain that i cannot get them faxed. only couriered.
oh. and it is not possible for them to be complete.

bm: i see that you were registered for courses in fall 2010 on the transcript i received on dec. 7 but i do not have your final marks.
bkw: my final marks were not received till the end of december.
bm: mhm. i don't have them.
bkw: why would you? you received it dec. 7...
bm: mhm. i need them or else your application will not be processed for your program.

i then spend 2 hours following that conversation
pacing, on the verge of tears, and pissed at the universe.
which then, prompted this:

dear universe,
if you have something to say to me,
just f**king say it.
sincerely,
b


is that enough dialogue for you?
i'm exhausted.

lullaby

shout out

to the warmest blanket around
i picked this gem up at a yoga studio
it is, most definitely, meant for sivasana
(relaxation after a yoga practice)
i wish i could say i have been
doing home practices religiously
and using this lovely blanket
at the end.

but.
instead.
it is muddled in my bed with my other blankies.
maybe one day it will live out its actual purpose.

a homemade life by molly wizenberg.

this book
is fantastic.
this book
is a challenge.
it is the:
how huge can you get in 314 pages challenge.

why, you ask?

wizenberg wrote a beautiful memoir
that is intertwined with recipes
and now that i have read it
it is so very fitting.
after all,
aren't we all brought together and
nourished by food?
(her coming of age marked by cookies - pure brilliance)

but wizenberg gets brownie points (no food pun intended)
for describing, in detail,
a lot french cuisine
and a lot of vegetarian cuisine.

fresh greens
heavy cream
butter
french bread
cafe au lait
bottles of wine
cheese
oh, the cheese.

things i should most definitely warn you about:

i credit this book to my desire to bake a loaf of banana bread
and then eat the entire thing
while i read the book
which brought me to nearly choking to death
as i cried- tears induced by wizenberg's hauntingly beautiful
recollection of her father's passing.

i also credit this book
for my urge to purchase a bagel
smothered (i mean smothered, people) in cream cheese
i needed (NEEDED) some bread and some cream.
something somewhat close to french cuisine.
(solid effort, anyway).

finally,
i credit this book to the copious amounts of red wine i consumed
throughout 314 pages.

i need to thank wizenberg for introducing me
into the scrumptious world of french cuisine.
and now, i need to eat.
again.

p.s. - wizenberg has a blog called orangette.
check it out!

food + illustrations = awesome.

spotted here.


is it just me or do we delve
a little deep into someones being
when we share recipes?
i'm always tickled when someone offers to give me a recipe
it seems so intimate.

i like to imagine their mother's grandma
standing over a big pot and
concocting something delightful
and passing it down the family tree
to the very person giving me
the recipe.

or maybe it just came from google.
but either way,
someone, somewhere created that recipe.
it's a little enchanting....

love letter

dear suki,
you are amazing.
so amazing
i can eat you
(literally)
i get even more excited
when i realize i can read
every single one of your ingredients
without pause.
you combine the amazing healing power of food
with the best healing products of natural beauty
and create glowing, luscious skin.
yours forever,
b


translation:

dear suki
you have no chemicals and preservatives
so when i lazily wash my face in the morning
and i get some in my mouth
as i usually do
i can actually eat it
and i will not die a painful chemically-induced death.
oh.
and my skin loves you just as much as i do.
much love,
b

not even one word of a lie

i. need. all. of. this.



like now.
yesterday, even.
i cannot live another day without it.
stunning.

also.
i am totally intrigued by her interview question:

what would you title your memoir?

i am so all over this thought.
i will keep you posted.
i intend to write a memoir one day.
as soon as i live something magical enough to write about.
it will happen.

ecoutez! (listen)

Armistice || Mission Bells from Dare To Care Records on Vimeo.

heart jm.
heart bm.
it works.
beautifully.

please watch

while i catch my breath

rebellion

when i was ruling my world
as a little person
i was gifted with some worry dolls
which were then confiscated by somebody*
since they were "witchcraft"




15 years later....

i have stocked up on some worry dolls.

yup.

i'm THAT rebellious.
take notes.

* she is a lovely person and we laugh about the confiscation now.

dear glen/gwen/gary?

hi,
you left me a nice little message and asked if i want to buy your mandolin.

do i ever.

however. i am a broke student (sigh).
and can only offer a small amount of money
that i am almost positive would be an insult.

but i am intrigued!
how do you know my number?
and how do you know i want a mandolin?

if you leave another intruiging message
saying you have an affordable melodica for sale,
i will be able to confirm that you are either
a. a very awesome figment of my imagination
b. a very sly and generous person
c. an unconventional musical instrument machine.

thanks kind sprite,
b

jumpology

why?

because there are so many things in my life
that are up in the air these days.

they all come in peace
i will speak of them soon
but not until it is official

patience, my lovelies.

taking it off (the mat)

pidgeon

one of the many "oh god keep breathing" poses

so i do yoga.


mainly ashtanga.
a little hatha.
and a little hot.
and a little of everything in between.

they are all a weensy bit different
but they all share one thing:

breath.

breath can tell you so many things.
but we hardly ever listen to it.
how odd.

breath* can tell you if you are exerting yourself
(short, quick, quivering breaths where you never really fully exhale)
if you are anxious
(long inhales followed by really forced exhales)
if you are calm and prepared
(smooth inhale that fills all 4 corners of the lungs
followed by an equal exhale that completely clears the lungs)
if you are freaking out
(no breath. at all)

it is never enough for me to practice yoga on my mat
i always aim to take it out with me when i leave the studio
one of those ways is through breath

if i am stressed
my breath is restricted
and i fix it
and feel better
if i am angry
my breath is short and quick
i fix it
and feel better
if i am nervous
my breath is sporadic
i fix it
and feel better

*my breath, my experience. what does yours tell you?

truth

i want these.