the "system"

sometimes in life
things that appear to be different
on the surface
are actually
completely and totally intertwined

exhibit b (for books, of course)


three little words
by ashley rhodes-courter

and


sickened
by julie gregory

both stories are about child abuse
in some form or another,
but
they both take on different angles
that, in my mind, collide beautifully to paint a morbid,
yet luring,
picture.


ashley underwent years in the foster care system
promises of a reconciliation with her mother
promises of a normal, happy life
and promises of her wildest dreams coming true
but
in reality
ashley received placements in very unstable homes
with very little recognition or concern
(on part of her "workers")
about what, exactly, was happening there
(i would describe it as torture)
yet
somehow
this fragile but bold little girl
blooms into a strong role model for young children everywhere

what happens between her destruction and her revelation
is terrifying, beautiful and captivating.
please read this book.


julie gregory
amazes me.
imagine being told
(right from the womb)
that you are sick.
really, really sick.
you cannot be a normal girl.
and you cannot eat because you are so sick.
you are ugly.
no one likes you.
you are every vulgar possibility under the sun.

julie's mom has what professionals call
MBP - believing you are sick when you are not
endless doctors
endless tests
and sometimes
you even hurt yourself (or whomever)
to make it look as if you really are sick.
sounds twisted, right?

it really is.
as amazing and raw as this memoir is
i had to set it down from time to time
because it became too much.

the connection?

julie's mom was also a foster parent
and many children suffered at her will
and many workers overlooked the conditions
and believed the children had "wild imaginations"

the results?

i felt mad.
sad.
moved by these women who were bent
way too far
but never broke.
but mostly...
i felt
utterly pessimistic.


and the worst part

who do you blame??

the abusers?
the workers?
their supervisors?
their supervisors supervisors?
the president?
it seems like a whirlwind of problems.
with no one taking responsibility.

i feel sickened.
and my three little words,
end up being
"i don't know"

i really don't.