i spy with my little eye

life's really hard questions are taken on here
the results? somewhere between confronting and comfortable.
love it.

food porn. to the max.

this woman is awesome. and hilarious to boot.

i cannot stop watching/reading/perusing/devouring this. it's getting embarrassing.
but it's all so lovely!

dear ingrid

you make me happy.

sharing

there comes a time
when sleep becomes irrelevant
that time when you are
laying beside your bed
feeling the embrace of the cool carpet
and debating
which is beating faster:
your thoughts
or
your heart

suddenly your tear-streaked swollen face
becomes the best (worst?)
part of your week (month?)
emotional residue lingers on your clothes
as you cry for the vibrantly clear
and the distant leftovers of a prior life

you just cry.

a little while later
you pull yourself off the floor
and you feel lighter.





so,

what did you do last night?

you and i

lets do it.

okay?

farm city - novella carpenter

simply put...

novella is fucking awesome.

she resides in the ghetto
in oakland
and she has an urban farm

this urban farm includes
vegetables
fruits
rabbits
turkeys
chickens
and pigs

novella writes beautifully
with a hint of nostalgic humour
and she almost makes me believe
that i could farm, too

what is really cool
about novella
is that she shares with members of her hood (if you will)
bikers
sex workers
homeless peoples
gangsters
etc
etc
pick whatever they would like
(what a brilliant idea)
since
food that is the most nutritious for
people dealing with illness and malnourishment
(largely poverty-stricken peoples)
is usually the most unattainable (due to cost)
but also do the fact that resources are not
evenly distributed
(think about our city
where are the grocery stores?)
it is also not a stretch
to say that food available in stores
located near "hoods"
is marked up in price
(because, where else will they go?
a lot of them don't drive)

oh
the politics of food.

but!
just imagine if
all cities
started to create an urban farm
(who needs another concrete building anyway?)
in their "hoods"

i feel obligated to mention
that she does write about her
experiences with butchering
now.
she writes very tastefully (no pun intended)
and yet,
i encountered a rumbling argument
between my eyes and my tummy
(it really didn't help
that i was EWR (eating while reading) )
needless to say
i ended up flustered,
fevered and
slightly tear stained
gagging over a toilet

but.
i would do it again.

read this book
if only for the mental picture of
two turkeys wandering down the hood with
gangsters on one side
and a homeless man on the other

pickles!

the garden
exhibit c (for cucumbers!)





anyone interested in the good ol trade and barter?
wahoo!

seed guierrlla

"guerre"= war "illa"= diminutive

to plant seeds randomly
in parks
in paths
in other gardens
in unused spots
etc
etc

is to become a seed guerrilla


sometimes you come back and check
to see if your random dropping has sprouted
and sometimes you never return


so
me and e
did just that
with some leftover seedlings i had
basil
cat mint
coriander
lavender
and some cucumbers

and we aren't the only ones...

i found this peculiar tomato plant
downtown
all by its lonesome


(picture taken with cellphone while juggling a purse and an iced soy latte all while trying to look nonchalant. have mercy.)

and
on a bicycle outing
i smelt some fresh dill
growing
somewhere amongst the others

brilliant.

good work guerrilla seeders.

cat dreams

(created by the lovely jessica doyle - of course!)




one of my favourite bloggers (and artists),
jessica doyle,
posted this charming little question
and i loved it

i'm almost embarrassed to say
that i became obsessed with it
what could my cat (and all cats!)
possibly dream about?

my mind first jumped to mice
(how generic)
but my cat has never really seen a live mouse
and if she did,
she would probably putz it around with her paw
make it suffer
then, maybe, eat it

she is mesmerized by rabbits,
squirrels and birds
but annoyed with gofers

she is incredibly terrified of water
but loves scrunched up paper

she is starved for attention
but easily irritated by one too many pets

so


what could she possibly be dreaming about when she looks like this?

(note the hairy toes - love it!)

you tell me.

yoni

the "system"

sometimes in life
things that appear to be different
on the surface
are actually
completely and totally intertwined

exhibit b (for books, of course)


three little words
by ashley rhodes-courter

and


sickened
by julie gregory

both stories are about child abuse
in some form or another,
but
they both take on different angles
that, in my mind, collide beautifully to paint a morbid,
yet luring,
picture.


ashley underwent years in the foster care system
promises of a reconciliation with her mother
promises of a normal, happy life
and promises of her wildest dreams coming true
but
in reality
ashley received placements in very unstable homes
with very little recognition or concern
(on part of her "workers")
about what, exactly, was happening there
(i would describe it as torture)
yet
somehow
this fragile but bold little girl
blooms into a strong role model for young children everywhere

what happens between her destruction and her revelation
is terrifying, beautiful and captivating.
please read this book.


julie gregory
amazes me.
imagine being told
(right from the womb)
that you are sick.
really, really sick.
you cannot be a normal girl.
and you cannot eat because you are so sick.
you are ugly.
no one likes you.
you are every vulgar possibility under the sun.

julie's mom has what professionals call
MBP - believing you are sick when you are not
endless doctors
endless tests
and sometimes
you even hurt yourself (or whomever)
to make it look as if you really are sick.
sounds twisted, right?

it really is.
as amazing and raw as this memoir is
i had to set it down from time to time
because it became too much.

the connection?

julie's mom was also a foster parent
and many children suffered at her will
and many workers overlooked the conditions
and believed the children had "wild imaginations"

the results?

i felt mad.
sad.
moved by these women who were bent
way too far
but never broke.
but mostly...
i felt
utterly pessimistic.


and the worst part

who do you blame??

the abusers?
the workers?
their supervisors?
their supervisors supervisors?
the president?
it seems like a whirlwind of problems.
with no one taking responsibility.

i feel sickened.
and my three little words,
end up being
"i don't know"

i really don't.

flourish

i found a sweet vintage pear box
at the antique mall
and it has become the new home for my herbs


apparently
you should always grow like with like
(mints, italian, etc)
i didn't
but i did grow like with like in terms
of water and sunlight
and
the results....





a very happy cilantro plant!

sage, rosemary and chives are also pretty content.

but my cilantro is loving life right now.

what are you growing?

love

first aid kit

5 days

planting
watering
relaxing
reading
baking
sleeping
visiting
drinking wine
bike riding
running in the rain
dancing
eating
sleeping
creating

one more sleep
working
again.

sigh.

at least this song is fucking awesome.