the core of it all

when i first told my mom i plan on leaving the province to get an education

she responded with

but what about your boyfriend?

oh, yes. what about him?
as a woman, i am expected to cater to my partner's needs and desires.
but, what about mine?
why is it so difficult for people to grasp that i would be a solo woman in a strange place chasing dreams with no inhibitions.
why is that so problematic?

i cannot help but make the connection between that uneasiness
and the uneasiness that rears its head when i say

kids? sure. but only in ten years. and i only want a month or two off then i want back in the office.

but who will care for your children?

it may be a tad presumptuous, but i assume they will have a father?
i assume they will not just spring out of the earth
and i assume that he will be more than capable to care for them.
yes, i assume a lot of things.

but so do you.
you assume that i will find fulfillment in children and marriage and a home.
you assume that i am not capable of carving out my own path without the hand of a man
and you assume that i need said man to be whole.

but, the thing is,

just because i am a woman does not mean i will plot my life around a man nor will i plot my life around the other things you think i need to be whole as a woman.

and i mean that. i truly, fully, wholeheartedly mean that.
and if that is where this little tale could end, wouldn't that just be simple?

but it is not.
the life of a twenty something is never so simple because
i completely lose my senses when it is 2 am and i wake to the weight of his head on my shoulder
or when i have to stand on my tip toes for a kiss and think that this standing-on-tip-toes-thing ain't so bad

and, truthfully, it might it be nice to have some one say

i will chase you to the edge of the earth just to hold your hand a little bit longer.

yes, i think it might be.