a birthday

at 6 in the morning, a familiar sound rang throughout my room.

a message.
someone sent me a message. at 6 in the morning.
what on earth might one have to say at this ungodly hour?

a wish for a happy birthday.

i should have went back to sleep.
but i didn't. not yet.
i stretched. and then i lay very still. and i thought.

i do not know why i thought this particular thought
but all the sudden i was very grateful for all the women i have in my life.

the powerhouse of women, as i like to call them.
these women inspire me and propel me forward.
they have changed me.
and i, i hope, have changed them.

i meditated on who i am and who i have yet to be.

i truly do not know what will come.

i do not have a plan.

i have my beliefs, my thoughts, my passion and my ambition.

i have a feeling i won't need much more.

i guess we will just have to wait and find out...

revival

i feel like this is what i need to come back.

when i say back that seems to imply that i went somewhere.
i guess i sort of did. just not physically.
my mind was filled with thoughts. thoughts that challenged me, drained me, upset me, and ultimately, carved the path back to me.

i was so buried in thoughts that i wanted to take a step back.
and just observe.
observe the areas of tension in my life.
i must have a role in all of this.
i must.
what do i do? and what should i do?
to say i have the answers would be a fib.
heck, to say i know how to get the answers would be an even bigger one.


but at the very least, i can praise my ability to recognize tension. and to demand a solution.


won't you join me?