unread pages

there are some chapters in my life that i cannot share.

i have yet to decide if it is because i sincerely do not want to

or because i know the depths of my open wounds

and i cannot risk any salt.

either way.

there are some pages that are to remain untouched.

they are sacred.

if you must know something,

then you can know only this

i hold her hand

close my eyes

and listen to her steady breathing

i feel the back of my hand grow moist

as she exhales onto my skin

i rest my head against her

and i say the only prayer i know.

the only prayer that i turn to when i need peace.

shanti shanti shanti

peace peace peace

i say it over and over and over again.

i say it with such focus, such intention, such force

and i hope, with all i have left in me, that it will fulfill it's promise.